Shards of My Sanity - LOOK UP IN THE SKY!

There's a bird!  There's a plane!  But where's Super!Ken?!

Super!Ken: AHEM!

The camera pans down from the sky and to a blonde girl wearing a purple outfit and mask.

Reporter: Can you fly?

Super!Ken: No.

Reporter: Can you leap tall buildings in a single bound?

Super!Ken: Why the fuck would I wanna do that when I can just walk around it?

Reporter: Then what can you do?

Super!Ken: I can chug dew like a mo-fo!  ^_^

Super!Ken zips to the Mountain Dew vending machine, whipping out cash to get a dew.  With one single motion, she chugs it down in seconds without a problem.  Then she purchases another and chugs it down. 

Super! Ken: *squishing the can in her hand* OUCH!  

***

Back at the Super!Ken lair, Super!Ken sits before her beloved desktop computer reading slashy fanfic as she spins numerous times in her spinning chair shouting "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Butler: Super!Ken, there's a bank robbery in progress.

Super!Ken: Ah, fuck it.  I'm too lazy to deal with anything at the moment.  Besides, I'm in the middle of a very important fanfic.